Tuesday, November 30, 2010

the kitten face syndrome / shock and awe phenomenon.

I love cats of all ages, but one thing that I find exquisitely cute about kittens is how they often look so shocked, worried and concerned.  They're just in awe of everything because it is so new and they are so little, and it shows on their beautiful tiny faces!

Check out some examples of the kitten face phenomenon, lifted from the lovely kitten collection, available for adoption at Toronto Cat Rescue:

"Bed Head" after Rob Ford was elected. So not impressed.
Coco after she saw those Nazi pin-ups of Jesse James' mistress.
Edward when Larry King announced his retirement. Where will Dad get his political opinions?
Fergie when Justin Beiber said that he's his generation's Kurt Cobain.  Notice that she's surprised but considering his statement.

Hannah and Her Sisters after Woody Allen married his Azn daughter.
Jammies reacts to the BP oil spill. :(
Jammies (middle) is diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. :(
Pansy reeling from the news that Tony Parker cheated on Eva Longoria. whaaaaaaaat!!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Intimate Encounter.


Look at who we stumbled upon on Queen West! A beautiful cat loaf in full tuck in the window of a store!  Despite the glass wall between us, she could tell we were meant to be together and gave me a bewitching love look (see above).

Me: "Oh kitty, you needn't get up!"
Kitty: "It's okay lady, I just want to be closer to you."  
Me: "Um, are you feeling what I'm feeling?" Kitty: "Fur shurr."

Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Tiger.

Tiger, tiger, burning bright
in the forests of the night
what immortal hand or eye
could frame thy fearful symmetry

In what distant deeps or skies
burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder and what art
could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat
What dread hand and what dread feet?

What the hammer? What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears 
and water'd heaven with their tears
did He smile His work to see?
did He who made the lamb make thee?

Tiger, tiger, burning bright
in the forests of the night
what immortal hand or eye
could frame thy fearful symmetry

- William Blake, 1757 - 1827

I am a ball now.

Tang, I hope you're happy living on that freezer with only the ya man brand jamaican beef patty poster for decoration.


I turned 28.  I have high hopes for this year.  Thank you Kalim.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Kitty Doodles

Did y'all know that the Cat Lady of Parkdale made a zine called Kitty Doodles?  You can buy it on December 4th at the Holiday Edition of the Parkdale Bazaar, from 11-5 at Masaryk-Cowan Community Centre.  Or you can send me one dollar to 91 Spencer Ave, Apt 202, Toronto, Ontario, M6K 2K5, and I'll send you a copy.

Sneak Peek hand modeled by Em-Gove.

Kyn Language.

My family has an extensive vocabulary of cat-language, which my grandma, aunt and mom called Kyn Language.  When a cat assumes this position, the Morses/Anglins call it making a loaf, or sitting in a loaf. 

This is called a half-tuck, because only one paw is tucked under his chest.  The back part is called the haunches.  If they are fluffy, they are said to have haunch feathers, or haunch fezzers.
Feeding time!  The lovely sisters Hoff fed these skinny babies their pancakes and bacon!
Cold lampin'.
Scruff-faced beauty.

Look at that little chest!  Poor bb.  Stay tuned for more kyn language, some of it gets pretty weird!

Beautiful Cuba cat in resort wear captured by Steph and Lindz.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Real Life Garfield or, The More-To-Love Model.

Hi, I'm Bertie, and the one in the box is my sister Stella. Don't you just hate Mondays??

I'm big and she's small but we love each other. And we both love lasagna!!!!

I don't live with John Arbuckle, but with my dear parents Sarah and Sasha in Waterloo. They are best friends of the Cat Lady of Parkdale. 
Here's me with Sarah! Despite my girth I am very docile and allow myself to be costumed. Note little Stella in the background.
My Nermal is haunted.
Did you know that Garfield creator Jim Davis doesn't own a cat?  His castrating wife is allergic.

Monday, November 22, 2010

perfect Parkdale window cat

Whoever you are taking my photograph: I give you fair warning, before you attempt me further. I may look like a beautiful little cherub, but I've got jaws and claws to protect my window sill.  Stay back!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

you are my sister and i love you

Sonya is a Cuban baby cat-cat who deserves love.  She was named in memory of Sonja, a Hungarian farm cat who recently went to the woods to die alone - as kitties are wont to do. Sisters across the world. How they feel about each other can be best expressed by the words of Antony Hegarty's song, "You Are My Sister".

We were born so innocent - so full of need. 
At times we were friends and at times I was so cruel...
but tonight I ask for you to watch me as I sleep
I was so afraid of the night. You seemed to move through the places that I feared.
You lived inside my world so softly, protected only by the kindness of your nature.
The way we laughed, the way we experienced pain. Faces, worlds, no one else will ever know!
You are my sister, and i love you. May all of your dreams come true. I want this for you! I see them coming true.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

fuck yeah crazy cat lady!

Dearest felines,

Your Cat Lady of Parkdale has been featured on the wonderful blog fuckyeahcrazycatlady!

Check it out HERE!

Bless us all. 

Castro's gonna like this post.

 My dearest friendies, Steph and Lindsay Hoff recently visited Cuba, which you may know is a land of beauty, discarded flip-flips, poverty and rich white tourists. 

But did you know that Cuba is FILLED with cats?  Sadly, they are strays who rely on their wits 'n' claws 'n' jaws (and the generosity of resort guests like S & L who will share their pancakes and bacon) to sustain themselves.  

And now, all the way from Cuba, I give you...


Let's take a minute to examine the minutia of this scene...
Communication is crucial to any relationship, especially during periods of conflict.  Note the little one's reflection in the window.

This picture reminds me of how it feels to look into the eyes of my ancestors in old crumbling sepia toned photographs.  it feels like they can see you back.

When conflict or social anxiety presents itself, we are often faced with the fight or flight instinct.  This one chose  the "get me the hell outta here" option.
Stay tuned for more Cuban cats.

Monday, November 15, 2010

making the best of what we are given

I work with my family in a variety store in Parkdale called Tang's.  I sit on top of this freezer filled with frozen sausage patties and pizzas all day.  My family loves watching Asian Soap Operas on the TV they installed in the store.  They are so engrossed in these sensational dramas that they can barely acknowledge their customers as they serve them.  Is it any wonder that they don't have time to give me affection? 
They do give me good food though, and whenever the Cat Lady of Parkdale comes in to withdraw money from my ATM we have a heavy-petting session on top of this freezer.  I am a black beauty.  I look pretty depressed in these pictures, but it was just a bad day. Usually I'm pretty happy, I think.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


this little serious-faced and soot covered cutie came across steph's camera in the mean streets of Parkdale.  He's a feral little princess, but luckily some otherwise bitchy neighbours give him good food and named him Sooty!
Hey Sooty!  How do you keep your pretty nose so clean when you're sweeping chimneys? PS. will your chimney sweep wages enable you to have a wife and kittens because i want to marry you. PPS Your nose looks like an eraser.

diamond face

somehow this cat's markings make him look really high-class, like he would give you a flute of champagne with a real pearl in the bottom, let you win at bridge, and then scat out a sparkling ditty accompanied by the piano man. Tres debonaire!


up to no good.

Storm is available for adoption through Toronto Cat Rescue.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Oh, what's this?

Is this my heart? and is it thumping?
Oh, my heart, oh, there you are! I'll stop hunting.
I love S's dainty little hand reflected in the door window.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Madame Mim does Rihanna.

Want you to make me feel like I'm the only cat in the world!  Like I'm the only cat that you'll ever love! Like I'm the only cat that knows your heart!

Long Mother.

go long, go long, right over the edge of the earth.

Toronto cat rescue - but who will rescue the feather?!?!

Baby Broyles shows his true nature with a feather.  The first pic is the face of innocence.  The second pic he gets an idea.  and then... ATTACK!!